


The Night Before Traveler Con

by hopelessbiromantic



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay yearning, Honestly I don't know how these two get anything done, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26269153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessbiromantic/pseuds/hopelessbiromantic
Summary: With Traveler Con in the morning, Beau and Yasha find some quiet time to (attempt to) talk about feelings.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 18
Kudos: 192





	The Night Before Traveler Con

**Author's Note:**

> Aka "I tried to write smut but it came out soft oh no".
> 
> Beau's feelings for Jester addressed, hints at Beauyashter but honestly you can interpret it any way you want.
> 
> I just want Beau and Yasha to kiss but they are too awkward so I'll have to do all the work for them I guess.
> 
> P.s. I'm English and spelling it "Traveler" literally pains me. I am in pain right now.

T'was the night before Traveler Con, or some bullshit.

Beau rolled onto her side, sighing in frustration and trying to manhandle her pillow into a more comfortable shape. Caleb had insisted on building the dome inside Vilya's house, and while she understood why from a security standpoint, it made the already cramped living area even more awkward to sleep in. She'd somehow ended up against the door with Caduceus on her other side, and his bony elbows kept poking her in the back. She didn't know if it was the discomfort, the hectic days of planning leading up to this moment, or the fact that the room was still gently spinning from an alcohol-induced buzz that was only just beginning to wear off, but even though she'd been lying still for hours while her friends drifted off around her, Beau was wide awake.

After another ten minutes of tossing and turning, trying to ignore Caduceus's snores and the various sleeping noises of her friends, she'd had enough. Slipping out of her bedroll, she silently eased the door open, risking a glance back to make sure she hadn't disturbed anyone – everyone seemed to still be sleeping soundly. Veth and Caleb were curled up back-to-back on Caduceus's other side. Yasha was leaning against a wall, apparently able to sleep like that, knees bent up and arms folded, the back of her head and shoulders just cresting the boundary of the bubble. Jester and Fjord were over against the opposite wall – not close enough to touch, but pretty close. Beau noticed that Jester's tail had started to wrap itself around Fjord's calf and something clenched in her chest – but Jester looked so happy, even in her sleep, that the feeling passed quickly.

Beau let her gaze linger over all six members of her family before squeezing through the gap in the door and stepping into the cool night air.

The bonfire was still going, but burning low, casting a soft orange glow in a radius around it that didn't quite encompass the small square. Almost all of the villagers and con attendees had retired to their own homes, with the exception of one couple – whether they had journeyed here together or met in the past few days Beau didn't know – whispering sweet nothings to one another, and a singular figure on a tree stump who, like her, was seemingly just looking for somewhere to sit with their thoughts. There were also a few limp forms scattered around the fire, people who had been too tired or drunk to walk the few yards to a proper bed and had passed out in the dirt. Well, that was their problem. Beau was off the clock.

She found a quiet spot far away from the others and plopped down into a cross-legged position, placing her new staff within arms reach – better safe than sorry – before pulling out Veth's flask and taking a long draught. It occurred to her that having an endless supply of alcohol on her person was _maybe_ not the best idea, with her track record of unhealthy coping mechanisms – but she didn't want to deal with that right now. She'd make sensible choices tomorrow. Right now, she wanted to drink.

Staring into the dying fire, her thoughts drifted to Vilya. Veth had filled the rest of them in on the details of her departure, and while Beau was a little disappointed to not get a chance to say goodbye to their new friend, she got it. Of course she did. She thought about Vilya's daughter (shit, none of them had thought to ask her name) and how it would feel to have the mother you'd probably assumed was dead for the past twenty-five years suddenly step out of a tree in front of you.

She wondered how it would feel to have a parent who loved you so much they'd travel across an entire continent just to hug you one more time.

 _No_. Those thoughts were dangerous. Fuck that.

She took another long swig, feeling the whisky starting to get to work within a few minutes. Her limbs began to feel heavier, her head lighter. But she was still aware enough of her surroundings to hear the crack of twigs behind her, the footfalls of someone trying to be quiet – not to attempt an ambush, but someone who knew the value of solitude and was careful to not disturb it until absolutely necessary.

“Hey, Yasha,” said Beau, and looked up, the alcohol letting an easy grin wash across her face. Yasha was standing a few feet away, hands held awkwardly in front and her long hair obscuring her face.

“I'm sorry. Did you want to be alone? I can...” she waved a hand vaguely, but Beau quickly beckoned her over.

“Nah, it's cool. You can sit.”

Yasha hovered for a few more seconds and then did so, folding her long legs under her as she settled beside Beau. A jolt went through Beau as their thighs touched – she didn't know if the contact was deliberate on Yasha's part, but neither of them pulled away.

“Are you okay?” Yasha quietly asked, brushing hair out of her face with one hand. The war paint had washed off of her forehead in Vokodo's lair and she hadn't had chance, or been bothered, to reapply it in the days since. She looked different without it; softer, younger.

“I'm fine,” Beau lied. “I just...”

“Can't sleep?”

Beau sighed. “Yeah.”

She took another swig from the flask before handing it over; Yasha lifted it to her lips and Beau watched her throat bob as she swallowed. She was just drunk enough to appreciate the way the firelight danced over Yasha's pale skin.

She tore her eyes away. _Stop it_.

They sat in silence for a few moments, not looking at each other as they passed the flask back and forth. It was a comfortable silence – the heat of the fire, the soft pressure of Yasha's thigh against hers, the crackle of the flames – and Beau gradually felt her edges soften, felt herself lean into the moment. She allowed herself a glance over at Yasha, who was staring intently forwards, a familiar crease between her eyebrows. Beau could guess what she was thinking about.

“What do you make of all this?” She raised the hand holding the flask to gesture out at the camp.

Yasha sighed. “I don't know. It's all very strange.”

“Yeah, it is.” Beau leaned back on her hands, stretching out a kink in her back. “I wanna make it special for Jester, but at the same time...”

“If the Traveler looks at her funny, you will kill him?”

“One hundred percent.”

Yasha gave a crooked half-smile, and Beau could tell they were on the same page about that, at least. Beau would go up against the Traveler alone if she had to, but the thought of having Yasha at her side was comforting in more ways than one.

The eye-contact lingered for a few seconds too long. Beau felt her heart beat faster and her face flush. Hoping the dim light would hide it, she looked away, covering her unease with another swig of alcohol. She was well on her way to stupid-drunk, and made a mental note to try not to say anything dumb. Like that had ever worked before.

“Can I ask you something?” Yasha said after a moment, sounding hesitant.

Beau licked her lips, mouth dry for some reason despite the whisky coating her tongue. “Sure?”

“Are you and Jester...” She paused. “A lot of things changed while I was gone, and…I don't know. The way you look at her sometimes...?”

“Oh.” It was the last thing Beau had expected, and she wasn't sure how to respond. She stared deep into the fire as she searched for the right words; Yasha waited patiently.

“It's…complicated?” She stopped, tried again. “Actually, no, it's not. She's my best friend. And she's into Fjord, so.”

It occurred to her that it should feel strange – talking about her crush to her _other_ crush – but it didn't. It felt completely natural.

“Are you in love with her?”

Beau sighed and scrubbed a hand over her face. She was suddenly exhausted. “I thought I was. Maybe. I don't know any more. It's not like I have...anything to compare it to, really.”

She wasn't sure how to put into words the strange mix of endearment, exasperation and protectiveness she felt for the little blue tiefling. Did she love Jester? Or did she love the way Jester saw the world, saw people – so different from the way Beau herself did. Did she love Jester, or the way she felt when they were together? Was there a difference?

“What about you?” she said, before her thoughts could run away with her.

“Am I in love with Jester?” There was a smile in Yasha's voice. Beau glanced at her; the side of Yasha's mouth was quirked upwards, and Beau could tell she was genuinely tickled.

“No, I meant...” What had she meant? It had just slipped out, an attempt at deflection. But now she was curious. “Are you?”

“She's very lovable,” Yasha said after a moment, which didn't really answer the question. “But that's...no.”

“Because of Zuala?” the words were out before Beau could stop them, and she cursed internally as Yasha's gaze lowered. She was so bad at this. “Shit. Sorry.”

“It's okay.” Yasha made eye contact with her once more; her eyes were dark in the firelight, immeasurably deep. Beau realised she wasn't angry or upset; just pensive. “To be honest, there are…a couple of reasons.”

She spoke very quietly, not looking away, and even in the dim light Beau could see a faint blush rising on her cheeks. She felt a warm hand rest on her knee and her heart thumped painfully.

Fuck. Was Beau reading this right, or was she about to mess everything up? She didn't want to spook Yasha, but it felt like she should say something.

“Yeah?” It came out in a whisper. She suddenly realised how close they were sitting as Yasha lifted a hand to cup her cheek. Beau felt Yasha's thumb brush the corner of her mouth and let out a shaky breath.

“Is this okay?” Yasha asked softly, looking at her mouth, and it was all Beau could do to nod yes, of course it was, as if _okay_ was an appropriate word to describe how okay this was.

When Yasha kissed her it was like Beau was finally allowed to exhale. It was stepping into cool water after a day in the sun, it was the place she went to when she settled into a meditation. Yasha's lips moved against hers and Beau forgot everything – Jester, Vilya, the Traveler, all of it. She opened her mouth to deepen the kiss and breathed Yasha in, one hand on Yasha's waist, the other bunching in the front of the tunic Yasha wore to sleep, pulling her closer, as close as possible. Gods, was this really happening, she'd been waiting and _wanting_ for so long –

The need for air overcame the need for each other and Beau leaned back slightly, breathing heavily. Both of Yasha's hands were on Beau's face, and Beau was glad of it; she was unsteady from the whisky or the kiss or both and felt like she would have come apart at the seams if not for the weight of Yasha's strong fingers. She met Yasha's eyes, mismatched but dark in the firelight. Beau could see concern in her face and wasn't sure why until she tasted salt.

“I'm fine,” she said again in answer to Yasha's silent question, and this time it wasn't a lie. She was smiling through the tears, and Yasha's lips quirked upwards to match hers.

They kissed again and again until Beau was dizzy with it, until she'd forgotten where she was and why. She brushed her fingers against Yasha's stomach, sliding them under the fabric of her tunic until she felt the soft flesh there; she pushed her hand through Yasha's hair, her tongue between her lips. She felt Yasha's hands on her neck, her waist. She wanted to say _let's go somewhere_ but didn't want to leave, didn't want to break the spell.

They finally broke apart, foreheads resting together. Beau was glad to see that Yasha looked as stunned as she felt; they shared an awkward grin as they both fought to catch their breath.

“Are you okay?” Beau asked, at the same time that Yasha said, “How are you feeling?”

Beau nodded, her head knocking against Yasha's and making them both wince. “Yeah, um. Great.”

“Me too.”

“Okay.” Beau let out a breath that was half a laugh. “Should we...talk?”

Yasha sighed. “I think we should sleep.”

Beau glanced up; she didn't have Caleb's gift for telling the time, but she could see that the sky through the trees above them was turning lighter, and she guessed they only had a few hours until dawn.

“Yeah, I guess so.” She knew she needed to rest, that tomorrow would be momentous in one way or another, but her heart was already sinking at the thought of that room, of the heady press of bodies when all she wanted was to sit here with Yasha and watch the sun come up. She stood, stretched a couple of times and was about to lead the way back to the house when she realised Yasha had laid her cloak on the ground and was getting ready to settle down.

“Oh, are we…?”

“I mean.” Yasha suddenly looked shy. “If you want to. I thought...”

“Yeah, no, I-I want to.”

She sat down beside Yasha, absently wondering if she'd ever manage to get a sentence out around her without messing it up. The idea of sleeping together, just the two of them, was strange at first, but as soon as Beau lay down it was the easiest thing in the world to let Yasha's arms wrap around and pull her into an embrace. Her back pressed into Yasha's front, and with Yasha's strong arms holding her, Beau let herself relax for the first time in a while and felt the exhaustion from the past few days press her into the ground.

She was almost asleep when she heard Yasha mumble something into her hair. “What?”

“I said, please wake me before dawn. I don't want to explain this to the others.”

Beau couldn't see her face, but figured she was probably joking. “No promises.”

The last thing Beau felt before she drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep was Yasha smiling against the back of her neck.


End file.
